© 1998 Mike Johnson

Bill Gates Jokes


  • We all know our audience is very educated. You’ve seen the X-Files. You’ve listened to Ross Perot. You’ve read the conspiracy books. You understand where the power REALLY lies in this country. The most powerful man in America doesn’t waste his time with elections or trying to become Speaker of the House. Admit it folks, you know who REALLY runs America. The richest man on Earth—Bill Gates, Speaker of the Mouse.

  • Ever since IBM’s Deep Blue computer beat the world’s best chess player Garry Kasparov, I realized what many have always suspected – we’re all pawns of Bill Gates.

  • Forbes magazine recently listed Gates as being worth $39.8 BILLION dollars. They said his net worth nearly doubled last year, growing at a rate of $400 MILLION dollars a WEEK.

  • $400 million a WEEK! Bill Gates earns more money in one week than the Chicago Bulls pay Michael Jordan in TEN YEARS! But then Bill Gates’ Windows95 crashes far more boards than Michael Jordan does too.

  • So now the Justice Department is threatening to fine Gate’s company, MicroSoft, a million dollars a day if they don’t stop bundling their web browser in Windows95. A million dollars a day to a guy like Bill Gates is just "Trump change."

  • Can you imagine being Bill Gates wife? "Hi honey, what’d you buy us for lunch? Soup? Salad?" "McDonalds Corporation." "McDonalds Corporation! Where are we going to put it! You still haven’t used Pepsico and Walmart!"

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